Inside my head

Baking with my kids is not fun. I keep forgetting that I hate it and then I find myself with two flour-covered children sticking their fingers in their mouths and then back in the bowl and I can't tell where the dough ends and the snot begins and I feel cranky instead of joyful that they are making wonderful childhood memories with Mom.

We are "those" people at Costco. When we first joined five years ago, we decided it was worth the membership fee for the savings on diapers and milk. We saw a cute family from church there last night with their little baby and five things in their cart and I had to laugh as I looked back at our TWO carts full to the brim, two children strapped in and one on my husband's shoulders. And I don't even browse the "middle-aisle death-trap", sticking to my list. We did finally sign up for the Gold Star and AmEx rewards, so on top of the $38 in coupons I saved last night, we should be getting several hundred dollars back from Costco at the end of the year. I seriously cannot imagine how anyone affords to feed more than five people.

I love my middle child again. He has spent the last month or so pushing me dangerously close to the brink of insanity, but I finally grew up and started loving him for the sweet, tender, compassionate, and imaginative boy he is. I have really enjoyed stopping whatever I'm doing and playing with him and found myself completely in love with his cute little face again. He loves me so much even when I am yelling at him at the top of my lungs for completely unloading his closet AND all of my baby clothes out of their bins organized by size and season. I don't get it.

While on the subject of Ryan and clothes, he is obsessed with raiding my bathing suit drawer and prancing around the house in my women's tankinis. I love him too much to post photos of these lovely ensambles, so you'll have to visualize him with my bathing suit bottoms on and then hiked up around his shoulders to secure the suit on. I guess he'll be comfy in a singlet or speedo if he decides to pick up wrestling or swim team one day.

Why do I always feel the need to nominate myself for Mom of the Day when I let my kids play with play dough? Why do I hate it so much? Why do I get excited when I pack up less playdough than we started with? Why do I even keep it in the house and then just whine about it?

I am counting the minutes until girls' weekend in NYC tomorrow through Sunday! My mom and sister and I are all going up to visit my sister who lives there and YEAH we are going to have a good time! My little sis is a walking expert on everything NY. Last time my husband and I were up there, we called her at every meal time, gave her our cross streets, and she pulled out an amazing recommendation. Food. Check. Shopping. Check. Fun. Check. Did I mention 50 hours of time without my adorable children? I'm sure I will come home loving them even more. And their dad. Can't forget him now!

Loving Christmastime, yes we actually got out our Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving and I love having my tree up. It makes my empty dining room seem a little less empty. And for some strange reason Gavin hasn't discovered the joy of undecorating it yet. I swallowed tradition and went fake this year and LOVE IT! It's nothing amazing out of a magazine and I don't take beautiful magazine-quality photos, but here's a photo anyway.

Christmas shopping is not done but under control. I am feeling relaxed and happy. Is there a giant ball of stress waiting for me to walk around the corner so it can dump on me? Will I really make a "poo-poo butt" cake like Ryan keeps requesting for his birthday? What is The Office going to be about tonight? What will I wear my new boots with? Did I tell you I paid $45 for $200 worth of black and brown boots? Does my husband appreciate what a good shopper I am? Well, I'd love to chat more but my kids are banging down the pantry door, gotta get some food on the table!