Paradigms

Pronounced like "pair-a-dimes" but no, it has nothing to do with money. Basically a paradigm is a way of thinking or a certain mindset. If you need more explanation go here.

Anyway, when I was in high school I worked at an insurance office and my boss was one of those crazy, super energetic people who was all into the motivational speaking scene that swept through the 90's. His favorite "guru" was Anthony Robbins the fire walking, motivational "unleash the power within" infomercial star of the 90's. Every Friday we'd have a staff meeting and we'd be subjected to listening to more Anthony Robbins spouted off so we could "unleash the power within" to sell more life insurance. (The only redeeming factor of the meetings were the muffins and juice).

Even though the Anthony Robbins routine was infinitesimally obnoxious, I did learn one word that stuck with me throughout the years - Paradigm Shift. My simple mind digested it as this - taking your way of thinking and changing it to make yourself better. Now shouldn't I be the guru.

I've often thought of this throughout my life. When I was young I thought grownups never changed. I guess I just thought you got to a certain age when you were "grown up" and that's who you were. When you are young you don't realize that "grown ups" have feelings, desires, and don't really feel "grown up" at all but feel just like you do. We are constantly changing, constantly readjusting who we are, what we are doing in life, and as I like to call it - reinventing ourselves (see, I could totally be a guru).

That is one thing I have enjoyed about moving SO MANY TIMES in the last 12 years. Each time I move I kind of take an inventory of my life, what I like and don't like, and readjusting myself for the next place. Sometimes it's nice having a fresh start where nobody know you. I always try to be a better me and maybe improve in some areas where I want to be better. Does that make sense?

This was a long introduction to what I wanted to really talk about which is this: Sometimes I think we get stuck in a rut and label ourselves as a certain way. Since I've become a mother I have had more challenges, difficulties, and frustrations than ever before in my life. Some things about being a parent are just down right hard. (but the rewards are amazing aren't they!). I think it's easy to give up and say "well, that's just how I am" for example - yelling at your kids...maybe that's how you grew up, maybe you have a short fuse, there could be lots of different reasons for it. But, it doesn't have to be that way. We have the power within us to change things we don't like. That's a God given right we have. We are creators, inventors, individual wonders created by a God who wants us to be better and has given us the tools to do so.

Recently two people have made a big impact on my life or I guess you could say my thoughts of motherhood. First is Stephanie Nielsen. If you haven't read the NieNie Dialogues or C Jane Blogs (links in our sidebar) I now encourage you to do so. What an amazing woman, an amazing family, and an amazing story. I know they have touched many people's lives besides mine - and mostly moms - for good. Stephanie paints a picture of Motherhood as it should be - wonderful, supreme, and the most important job in the world. Since I have found her blog I have literally devoured it, reading everything I can about her thoughts and actions on motherhood and she has made me want to be a better mother, wife, and person.

She is currently undergoing an immense life altering situation after she and her husband survived a plane crash. Her sister has been blogging about the whole situation and they have gotten National Press Coverage because of the huge support they've received from the blogging world. It is amazing how the actions of one person can touch the lives of so many.

On thing Stephanie has taught me is how to enjoy each day with my kids. Get out of the rut and realize how much fun it can be to be surrounded by my little ones each day. They should be my best friends right now and I should be theirs. They are precious and sometimes in the midst of tantrums and poopy diapers that can be forgotten. I'm sure Stephanie has her moments too but she chooses not to dwell on that. She chooses to see her children for the beautiful creations they are and I want to be more like that. I'm not anything like Stephanie, nor should I be. We are two completely different people but, she has some wonderful qualities as a daughter of God that have taught me and made me want to be a better person. Making me "shift" my paradigm from thinking one way to thinking another way and I love to be around people (especially moms) like her - even if its through the cyberworld.

The second person who made me do some deep thinking was Elder Uchtdorf in the talk he gave at women's conference this year titled Happiness, Your Heritage. Since I've practically written a book here I'll make that Pardigms Part II on another day but in the meantime, read his talk if you have heard or read it yet and then you'll know what I"m talking about next time....to be continued.